And now you're gone
The first day I walked into the emergency department, you were standing at one of the resident computers. I was overwhelmed by the new environment, the new faces, and all the information directed towards me by the nursing head who was showing me around the ED. She took me to the charge nurse computer to show me the interface to the electronic medical record and that is when I noticed you, standing close to us, tall in your white coat and green scrubs. I was confused by the different colored scrubs that everyone was wearing and couldn't distinguish the attending physicians from the residents. I was asking the nursing head about the different care providers who work in the ED.
I pointed towards you and asked the nursing head in a low voice: "Is he a resident or an attending?" I wanted to know because I thought I knew all the residents by face and had never seen you before.
She looked past me at you and said somewhat dismissively: "Oh, he's a medical student."
I turned to look at you and for the first time looked beyond the white coat at your face. Feeling our eyes on you, you looked in our direction. Realizing that we were both staring at you, the nursing head and I both quickly looked away. All this happened in the span of about 3 seconds and 4 feet.
The nursing head led me to another part of the ED and I forgot all about you till I saw you the next week when I was in the ED. I was observing everything and everyone and couldn't help noticing you. You seemed shy, but would glance in my direction often. I was focusing on talking to the registration and nursing staff for these weeks and so thought to myself "I'll talk to him when I talk to the residents and doctors."
You were there again the next week when I was in the ED. I watched you interact with patients and attendings. I watched you perform chest compressions on a cardiac arrest patient. And our eyes locked many a times. You brushed past me when the ED was really crowded and talked to patients and doctors standing right next to me. And yet we were both too shy to speak to each other. I couldn't even catch your name. I wanted you to make the first move because, of course, I am a woman and we like to play hard to get. I also wanted to concentrate on my work and so told myself "there is enough time. I'm going to be here for months. I'll say 'hi' to him later".
Later when I went back home last week, looking forward to seeing you in the ED when I came back, it struck me that medical students are on rotations. In other words you would be gone soon. I looked forward all week to coming back to the Medical Center and this time I was determined to talk to you.
You're not here this week. Its the end of the month so I guess your rotation is over. Its a big hospital and the chances of me running into you again are slim. And even if I see you again I won't have any excuse to talk to you. Another missed connection.
I pointed towards you and asked the nursing head in a low voice: "Is he a resident or an attending?" I wanted to know because I thought I knew all the residents by face and had never seen you before.
She looked past me at you and said somewhat dismissively: "Oh, he's a medical student."
I turned to look at you and for the first time looked beyond the white coat at your face. Feeling our eyes on you, you looked in our direction. Realizing that we were both staring at you, the nursing head and I both quickly looked away. All this happened in the span of about 3 seconds and 4 feet.
The nursing head led me to another part of the ED and I forgot all about you till I saw you the next week when I was in the ED. I was observing everything and everyone and couldn't help noticing you. You seemed shy, but would glance in my direction often. I was focusing on talking to the registration and nursing staff for these weeks and so thought to myself "I'll talk to him when I talk to the residents and doctors."
You were there again the next week when I was in the ED. I watched you interact with patients and attendings. I watched you perform chest compressions on a cardiac arrest patient. And our eyes locked many a times. You brushed past me when the ED was really crowded and talked to patients and doctors standing right next to me. And yet we were both too shy to speak to each other. I couldn't even catch your name. I wanted you to make the first move because, of course, I am a woman and we like to play hard to get. I also wanted to concentrate on my work and so told myself "there is enough time. I'm going to be here for months. I'll say 'hi' to him later".
Later when I went back home last week, looking forward to seeing you in the ED when I came back, it struck me that medical students are on rotations. In other words you would be gone soon. I looked forward all week to coming back to the Medical Center and this time I was determined to talk to you.
You're not here this week. Its the end of the month so I guess your rotation is over. Its a big hospital and the chances of me running into you again are slim. And even if I see you again I won't have any excuse to talk to you. Another missed connection.
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