Research and Matchbox 20
I feel mentally exhausted and drained from thinking about research. I tried to work some more on the review paper for JAMIA this morning and did not get anywhere. The words were scrolling across the page and disappearing before I was able to grasp their meaning. I'm tired of scribbling ideas on pieces of paper, ideas that take me in different directions and always leave me with the question "So what do I want to do with my research?" in the end.
I started listening to Rob Thomas, going from "Unwell" to "Smooth" to newer songs like "Ever the same" and "Lonely no more". That ofcourse led to reading up his biography online. It struck me how the people who are successful are often those who were faced with circumstances that made them become independent very early in life. That seems to be what pushes one to excel.
Doing a PhD is hard, specially if you don't come into the program knowing exactly what you want to do. You are constantly working on identifying and solving an 'important' problem in the field of your choice. Also, the solution proposed must be 'novel' and your research must make an 'original contribution' to the field. Given all this, you constantly find yourself thinking about the problem you are trying to solve. I think about it during the day, in the evening when I am making myself dinner, while doing laundry, while talking to friends, while walking the ailes of Wegmans. Its always in my mind, sometimes at the forefront of my thoughts and sometimes in the background. When I joined grad school I would get excited about each of the various interesting-sounding areas of research which I thought I could work on. But as you get more familiar with each area you realise that the fundamental problems have all been tackled. You soon get tired of reading long-winded research papers which mostly seem to make very incremental contributions to the field. You realise that no matter how exciting the opportunities in the field seem, it is hard to make a real contribution. That is when you start getting sucked into the machinery of academia. You start publishing just to plump up your resume. You start research projects that don't seem to go anywhere. You start dreaming about doing something significant and watch South Park when you're mentally exhausted. And ofcourse that is what makes it all the more challenging. The intellectual stimulation is something I enjoy.
Back to modeling and simulation of overcrowded emergency departments. I look forward to the "Rocky Horror Show" at the Schwab theatre tonight with friends. Musicals always cheer me up.
I started listening to Rob Thomas, going from "Unwell" to "Smooth" to newer songs like "Ever the same" and "Lonely no more". That ofcourse led to reading up his biography online. It struck me how the people who are successful are often those who were faced with circumstances that made them become independent very early in life. That seems to be what pushes one to excel.
Doing a PhD is hard, specially if you don't come into the program knowing exactly what you want to do. You are constantly working on identifying and solving an 'important' problem in the field of your choice. Also, the solution proposed must be 'novel' and your research must make an 'original contribution' to the field. Given all this, you constantly find yourself thinking about the problem you are trying to solve. I think about it during the day, in the evening when I am making myself dinner, while doing laundry, while talking to friends, while walking the ailes of Wegmans. Its always in my mind, sometimes at the forefront of my thoughts and sometimes in the background. When I joined grad school I would get excited about each of the various interesting-sounding areas of research which I thought I could work on. But as you get more familiar with each area you realise that the fundamental problems have all been tackled. You soon get tired of reading long-winded research papers which mostly seem to make very incremental contributions to the field. You realise that no matter how exciting the opportunities in the field seem, it is hard to make a real contribution. That is when you start getting sucked into the machinery of academia. You start publishing just to plump up your resume. You start research projects that don't seem to go anywhere. You start dreaming about doing something significant and watch South Park when you're mentally exhausted. And ofcourse that is what makes it all the more challenging. The intellectual stimulation is something I enjoy.
Back to modeling and simulation of overcrowded emergency departments. I look forward to the "Rocky Horror Show" at the Schwab theatre tonight with friends. Musicals always cheer me up.
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